For Parents

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Parent Coaching

​Parenting teens and young adults is not an easy responsibility. As your child becomes more autonomous and independent, they need different things from you. They want less direction but they still need your loving presence, clear boundaries, and thoughtful support. As your child undergoes this often turbulent and challenging development from dependence towards independence, the parent/child relationship needs to evolve and grow to keep pace with this maturation. In a number of ways, parenting at this stage is akin to good mentoring, so we work with parents to understand and hold many of the perspectives and techniques that we embrace as mentors. The biggest shift is learning to metaphorically move from the driver’s seat to the passenger’s seat, then to the back seat, and eventually leaving the car altogether as your child increasingly takes greater ownership of driving their own life. Here are some of the ways we support families in making this transition:

  • By understanding and contextualizing what your child may be going through at this time of their development, and how you can best support this process.

  • Helping your child shoulder more of the financial, logistical, and decision making responsibilities for their life.
  • Cultivate new ways of relating that deepen connection and open communication with your child.
  • Establishing and holding realistic expectations and boundaries for your child that support their growth towards independence and relieve you from feeling like you need to control and micro-manage their life and their decisions.
  • Learning to hold and elevate the goals and dreams of your child, and not unnecessarily influence them with your beliefs, attachments, and fears.
  • Helping you become more comfortable with the inevitable pain that arises for you when you see your child struggling. Recognizing that intervening at the wrong times and in the wrong ways doesn’t make our children stronger and more resilient, but actually does the opposite.
  • We are available to facilitate difficult conversations between parents and their adolescent/young adult child to ensure that communication is respectful, honest, and effective, aligning everyone around the best long term interests of the child and their growth.

Parent Testimonials for James

James Farmer was introduced to us as an option for our 23-year-old son, after the completion of a wilderness therapeutic program in UT, and a community based program in CO. While our son had made great strides in his journey – he again seemed “stuck” in old thought patterns and ways of avoiding the challenges of becoming an adult. James was amazing! He quickly connected with our son in a way that many hadn’t. He challenged him in ways that were kind and sincere, while also being tough and purposeful. Our son moved steadily into the next phase of life under James’ guidance and coaching. His growth is visible and noticeable, and he now has the tools to face nearly any challenge that comes his way. James is exceptional in his field and his personal history provides credibility to the clients with whom he works. I simply can’t say enough positive about James, his impact on the life of our son, or the foundation he’s helped build with our family. This guy is the real deal!

Steve Strohbusch - Wisconsin

James has been such a gift to our son. His mentoring was so comprehensive and included assisting our son, Taylor with his physical, mental, emotional and social lives. He communicated effectively with us, always maintaining Taylor privacy. He cares so deeply for Taylor it is obvious. Thanks to James, Taylor has grown into an independent, confident young adult full of so much character and integrity.

Melanie - Texas

We cannot say enough about James! He was able to get to know our son on his terms and formed a strong connection. Their connection enabled James to work with our son to think about his decisions, to determine practical goals, and to create weekly to-do lists. In addition, he is open to communicating with parents on progress and challenges. Since working with James, our son has made slow and steady progress on dealing with anger issues and personal responsibility. We are incredibly grateful for everything James is doing with our son.

Rob and Louisa, Massachusetts

James has been an extraordinary mentor to our 28-year-old son, and an invaluable support to us as parents, for the last three years. He’s super smart, intuitive, and insightful, as well as deeply empathic and kind. James is grounded, pragmatic and direct in his feedback to us as parents, and most importantly to our son, who respects and trusts him wholeheartedly. Frankly, James has been as much a great therapist as a mentor to our son, and we are so grateful to him.

Lauren and Jim, New York